NOVEMBER WISH

I hope everything will always go my way ^^. I hope this month will be nicer than the previous.

Nothing happen, nothing, just another story of my life. I can say that time can be my ''death period'', unable to see, to feel, to move even to think. I felt like I've been wrapped in fear with no end in sight . Moreover, so very amused with something I even do not know my self. What a tragedy !!!

I move though very slowly compare to other but I have learned a few lesson that can be my next little step to a thing called ''dream''. Yet, staying in one same place at a long period of time is somehow painful. One part wants me to go, other half wants me to stay. It gets me confused. ''What am I supposed to do?'' still on egg shell, blind and unguided. I've been hurt a lot, been burned a lot, been bruised . However, I am still here. I still exist coz you keep me safe.

I am moving not listening. I am walking not looking back.

涼介　ホントにアリガトウなぁ

You make it easier for me XDD

I lost HIM

I lost HIM

I know I will write this but it is too soon
It is so heartbreaking

God doesn't give me more time to take care of him

I wish I would somehow find his body and give him a proper burial :(
I miss you 

Jely, wherever you are, you know I love you and I always will

And again...

I will live my life pretending nothing has happened

Je m'ennuie de toi

 

J'ai rêvé de toi hier soir.
C'est bizarre.
Pour qui vous prenez-vous?

Je m'ennuie de toi

Peut-être que tu ne sais pas combien je t'aime.

Tout va bien?

Je veux te voir.
Je ne veux pas te voir.
Maintenant, je comprends.
Je sais que c'est fini.
Je te souhaites les meilleurs.
Garde le sourire!

Mariah Carey & 山田涼介

 

I don't know how to put into words but I just wana say THANK YOU SO MUCH. 

The Story of Love & Time

Once upon a time, there was an island where all the feelings lived: Happiness, Sadness, Knowledge, and all of the others, including Love. One day it was announced to the feelings that the island would sink, so all constructed boats and left. Except for Love. Love was the only one who stayed. Love wanted to hold out until the last possible moment.
When the island had almost sunk, Love decided to ask for help.

Richness was passing by Love in a grand boat. Love said, "Richness, can you take me with you?"
Richness answered, "No, I can't. There is a lot of gold and silver in my boat. There is no place here for you."

Love decided to ask Vanity who was also passing by in a beautiful vessel. "Vanity, please help me!"
"I can't help you, Love. You are all wet and might damage my boat," Vanity answered.

Sadness was close by so Love asked, "Sadness, let me go with you." "Oh ... Love, I am so sad that I need to be by myself!"

Happiness passed by Love, too, but she was so happy that she did not even hear when Love called her.

Suddenly, there was a voice, "Come, Love, I will take you." It was an elder. So blessed and overjoyed, Love even forgot to ask the elder where they were going. When they arrived at dry land, the elder went her own way. Realizing how much was owed the elder, Love asked Knowledge, another elder, "Who Helped me?"
"It was Time," Knowledge answered.
"Time?" asked Love. "But why did Time help me?"
Knowledge smiled with deep wisdom and answered, "Because only Time is capable of understanding how valuable Love is."

I really

 

涼介山田

Smile

Smile

Smile

                                       



                                              Smile

Simple word

Simple to do

But deep inside who knows ?

Only GOD knows 

田中愛之助

Don't Know What To Say

This moment may be our last,
Can you feel the distance that is as great as the emptiness in my heart?
Why weren't we able to be more honest with each other?
I guess our unnecessary pride makes it lethargic

''....I always think that everything will be better..stupid me..It only brings hurt at the end. I said it was my last time but then I came back..I wana do so but it seems my heart goes different direction. Are you okay? Why do we have to care about other? Do they have to judge that way this way? How funny!! People are getting more and more annoying today. They think they know everything. Can we be more honest each other? Can we? Can I?...''

Don’t know what to say now because of the countless thoughts
Don’t know what to say now (Nothing to say now) these words linger on my lips
Will we be able to love like our past, like our first, as if nothing happened?
I just don’t know what to say now

''...There are a lot going on my mind these couple months. I am trying to understand all the things between us. I think it is still a little hard for me to make it like our first meeting. Nothing change? Nothing? Words can lie but heart doesn't. I really have nothing to say. I am talking too much. I shouldn't have said those words...''

If we had backed up one step, it wouldn't have came to this,
It's too late to turn back what happened not because of fault but because of selfishness

''...Really? I am not that little boy in a candy shop anymore fascinating by what I see not what I feel. Never really think about this end. I began drawing my dreams as we met. Silly of me. It ended up this way. It's too soon to be like this. Life is unfair. Selfishness? stubborn? pigheaded? me? you? us?...''

Don’t know what to say now, I can't utter a word,
Don’t know what to say now, a sigh represents my feelings,
Will we be able to love like our past, like our first, as if nothing happened?
I just don’t know what to say

''...I just feel like something was taken away from me accidentally without even a warning. Hmmm trying hard to let go. I am tired of words, tired of the time we spent quarreling about that orientation that we are unable to explain clearly to each other. I duno which one is really true, the story the chit chat, the laughter, hi in the morning or that simple meaningful word at night...so confused with those all in my head..I have been trying to understand but somehow I couldn't find that thing...''

Because it may be a regret, because it may be a scar,
I can't say even a word,
Because it hurts, because I'm scared,
I don't wanna hurt because I loved you

''...Regret? Do I? Do you? I never had a dream like this before. I just wake up in the morning and sleep at night regularly everyday. I really enjoy my life so now I really wana enjoy my life again. I said those words to you already...''

Don't know what to say

You know that we can’t fix it again

I don’t know what to say now

I just don’t know what to say 

''...I have been trying to put things to its original place. Do I make it wrong? Which one? ...''

Don't know what to say

Because of the countless thoughts (I can't think of anything)

Don't know what to say now

these words linger on my lips (even at this moment that may be our last)

I can't even express my own feelings,

Because the numerous memories won't let me go

I just don’t know what to say now

I don’t know what to say now

''...So predictable...Life is so easy just like a guessing games ne...So many questions I wana ask so many stories I wana tell....I just can't. Is this the end? I never expect that way. I am glad that I am alive...''

Lethargic

A million feelings. 

A thousand thoughts. 

A hundred memories. 

All for one person.